Community Guidelines

We put strangers in a room together, and that only works if everyone knows where the lines are. We’d rather tell you plainly, in advance, than make it up after something goes wrong.

If you only read one paragraph: be decent to people, turn up when you say you will, and if something feels wrong, tell us.

They cover everything you do on Outsidey, and everything you do at Outsidey events.

That means your profile and your photo, the events you propose, the reviews you write, your post-event feedback (your ratings and the people you say you connected with), the reports you send us, and how you behave at a book club, on a walk, or over dinner. Because we organise these events, these rules apply to how you behave at them, not just to what you do online.

We may also act on credible reports of things that happen between members away from Outsidey, where it creates a safety risk on the platform. We keep this narrow: it means conduct towards someone you met through Outsidey, not your life in general.

You must be 18 or over to use Outsidey. Everything here is built for adults. Our events happen in pubs, restaurants, and other places that aren’t set up for under-18s, and we don’t make an exception.

We ask for your date of birth when you sign up, and you have to give us an accurate one. If we find out someone under 18 has an account, we’ll close it and delete their information, except anything we need to keep for safety or legal reasons.

If you think someone on Outsidey is under 18, tell us at safety@outsidey.co.uk.

One account each, and it’s yours. Don’t share your login, and don’t sign up on someone else’s behalf.

That depends on how serious it was, whether it’s happened before, and the risk to other people. We use the least severe measure that meets the problem: it may be a warning, a restriction on a particular feature, removal from a community, or suspension of your account. Some of the things listed below lead straight to permanent removal on a first occurrence.

While we look into a serious report, we may pause your account or take you off upcoming events. That isn’t a finding against you; it’s how we keep people safe while we work out what happened. We may also stop placing you in the same group as a particular member.

The process, the notice you’ll get, and how to appeal are set out in our Terms of Service and explained in our Moderation and enforcement policy.

Most of what goes wrong at events isn’t dramatic. It’s someone being rude, dismissive, or hard work, and everyone else quietly deciding not to come back.

We split this into two. Hurtful behaviour is uncivil: insults, sniping, name-calling, talking over people, making someone the butt of the joke. Harmful behaviour is unsafe, illegal, or targeted, and it’s covered by the rules below. If we find a pattern of hurtful behaviour, we’ll limit what you can join. We’ll take into account any access needs you’ve told us about.

Example. At a book club, one member repeatedly interrupts another and makes remarks about how little she seems to have read. Nobody is threatened, and no law is broken, but three people don’t come back.

This includes repeated, unwanted contact, online or off.

It includes: following someone, waiting for them, or seeking them out at events after they’ve asked you to leave them alone; contacting someone who’s asked you to stop; finding someone on social media after they’ve stepped away from you here; sustained abuse aimed at one person; and getting other members to pile on. Harassment can be a criminal offence even where no threat is ever made.

If someone asks for distance, we may stop placing you in the same groups. Carrying on with a community you were already part of isn’t a breach of this rule on its own; following someone into new ones, or seeking them out once you’re there, is.

Outsidey has no messaging, which removes the most common route for this. It doesn’t remove the route that matters most to us, which is in person.

Example. A member leaves an activity group after an uncomfortable evening. Another member finds her on Instagram, messages her twice, and then RSVPs to the next walk she’s attending.

If someone doesn’t select you in “people I connected with”, leaves your community, or stops coming, the next step is to let it go, not to find them somewhere else.

Consent means welcomed communication and welcomed actions. If you’re not sure whether something is welcome, ask. If you’ve asked once and been turned down, you have your answer.

Outsidey is platonic by default. At events tagged Dating, showing romantic interest is fine if it’s respectful, and anything short of a clear yes is a no. At every other event, don’t approach anyone romantically.

Turning on the dating preference only affects what you’re matched into. Nobody else can see it.

We don’t allow pick-up techniques, seduction routines, or wingman tactics, in any form, anywhere on the platform.

Example. Over dinner, a member asks another for her number. She says no. He asks again before dessert, and once more as the group leaves.

We don’t allow unwanted sexual comments, unwanted sexual attention, or unwanted physical contact of any kind. Touching someone sexually without their consent is a criminal offence, and we treat reports of it as our most serious category after the ones in rule 10.

We don’t allow anyone to pressure, coerce, or take advantage of someone who is drunk, unwell, or otherwise not in a position to consent.

If we find, on reasonable grounds, that you touched someone sexually without their consent, or took advantage of someone who couldn’t consent, we’ll remove you permanently.

Zero tolerance, no exceptions, no context in which this is acceptable.

Don’t send or show anyone an image of genitals or any other sexually explicit image, at an event or through Outsidey. Showing it on your phone screen counts. We don’t allow sharing, or threatening to share, an intimate image of someone without their consent, whether or not they’re an Outsidey member. We don’t allow recording someone in a private act, filming up someone’s clothing, or recording someone breastfeeding.

This applies just as much to images that have been edited, faked, or generated by software to look like a real person. An intimate image of someone that they never posed for is still an intimate image of them.

Most of these are criminal offences. Anyone who does them is permanently removed. We’ll support the person affected if they want to report it, and we may report it ourselves.

Your profile photo is the one image you have to upload. It must be a recent photo of you, clothed, with your face visible, and nothing else in it.

Ask before you photograph or film anyone at an Outsidey event, and stop if you’re asked to. Don’t post photos of other attendees anywhere without their agreement. Some people are here precisely because they’re at a low point, and they may not want a record of it on someone else’s feed.

This is our house rule rather than the law, and we’ll act on a breach of it like any other breach. The things in rule 5 are different: those are criminal.

When Outsidey takes photographs at our own events, we’ll tell you at the start and give you a straightforward way to opt out on the day. You can also tell us at any time that you don’t want to appear in our photos, and we’ll honour it. We’ll use a photo in which you can be identified in our marketing only with your agreement, and if you ask, we’ll take down published photos of you where we can.

Don’t attack people because of who they are: race, ethnicity, national origin, religion or belief, sex, gender reassignment, sexual orientation, disability, age, marriage or civil partnership status, or pregnancy and maternity.

There’s a difference between attacking a person and discussing an idea, a belief, or an institution. Disagreeing with a religion isn’t the same as abusing a member for practising it. Slurs aimed at a person are a breach regardless of how the argument started.

Some events are for women only, and anyone who told us during onboarding that they’re a woman can join them. Apart from women-only events and events for a particular age range, we won’t run events that exclude people on the basis of a protected characteristic.

No threats of violence, whether direct, implied, or conditional. Implied threats count: “the next time I see you, you’ll be sorry” and “you’d better watch your back” are both breaches, and both may be criminal.

No encouraging or organising violence, and no bringing violence to an event.

If we find, on reasonable grounds, that you made a credible threat of violence, we’ll remove you permanently.

We’d rather people were able to talk than not.

So: talking about your own experience, asking for support, and talking about recovery are all fine here. What isn’t allowed is encouraging, promoting, or giving instructions for suicide, self-harm, or disordered eating, or pressuring anyone else towards it. Encouraging or assisting serious self-harm is a criminal offence.

If you’re struggling, Samaritans are available day and night on 116 123. If you’re worried about someone at an event and it’s urgent, call 999.

Outsidey isn’t a place to commit, plan, or promote crime – whether in anything listed under “What these rules cover” or in person at an event – and we’ll remove, and where appropriate report, content and accounts involved in it. Three categories deserve to be set out separately.

Terrorism content. We don’t allow content that encourages, praises, or provides support for terrorism, or that is produced by or on behalf of a proscribed organisation. This applies to everything listed under “What these rules cover”. Accounts involved are removed permanently and referred to the police.

Child sexual exploitation and abuse content. Zero tolerance. Outsidey is for adults only. We don’t allow any content that sexualises a child, any sexual content involving anyone under 18, or any attempt to contact, groom, or arrange to meet a child. Accounts involved are removed permanently, and we report to the police and the National Crime Agency. This is the one category where we act first and ask questions afterwards.

Other illegal content and conduct. This is the group that’s most likely to come up in practice, because it’s the group that arises when people meet in person. It includes harassment and stalking; controlling or coercive behaviour; threats to kill; encouraging or assisting serious self-harm; supplying or offering to supply controlled drugs; fraud; sexual offences; racially or religiously aggravated offences; offences involving offensive weapons; and public order offences.

Most of these appear as ordinary rules elsewhere in this document.

Don’t bring illegal drugs to an Outsidey event, and don’t supply or offer to supply them to anyone. Supplying controlled drugs is a serious criminal offence, and offering counts even if nothing changes hands. Anyone doing this at an event is removed permanently.

Some of our events happen in pubs and restaurants. Drink if you want to, and don’t if you don’t. Nobody should be pressured either way, and pressuring someone to drink is a breach of rule 1.

Look after your drink and your belongings, and keep them in sight. If you feel unwell or unsafe, tell a member of venue staff. Many venues run Ask for Angela, a scheme that lets you discreetly ask staff for help if you feel unsafe; it isn’t available everywhere, but it’s worth knowing about.

Don’t bring weapons to an Outsidey event.

Never send money because someone you met through Outsidey asked you to, whether for an emergency, a loan, or an investment. Splitting a bill is fine; being asked for money isn’t. Report anyone who asks. Never share your bank details, card details, or passwords with another member.

Don’t create a false profile, or misrepresent who you are, in order to get money out of someone. That’s fraud, and the offence is complete the moment the lie is told. Nobody has to lose anything.

Don’t ask other members for loans, donations, or investment.

Events are not a sales opportunity.

Don’t use Outsidey to sell products or services, recruit for a business, promote a multi-level marketing or pyramid scheme, recruit candidates or clients, or find beta testers.

Talk about your beliefs, political or religious, as much as anyone else at the table. Don’t use an event as a platform, and don’t press them on someone who’s changed the subject.

Don’t share other members’ personal information: their surname, address, workplace, phone number, or anything else they’ve told you in confidence.

The attendee list for an event is there so you know who you’re meeting. It isn’t a contact list, and it isn’t yours to keep, copy, or share. The same goes for anything you learn about someone at an event, including anything about their health, their relationships, or how they’re feeling.

Don’t threaten to share someone’s information, and don’t use it to find them elsewhere.

One account per person. Use your real first name and a recent photo of yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone else, and don’t set up an account for anyone but yourself.

Don’t tell people you’re something you’re not in order to get something out of them.

If we’ve suspended or closed your account, don’t come back under a new one. That includes signing up with a different email address, a different card, or through someone else. Ban evasion is a breach in its own right, and if we find the new account, we’ll close it too.

Only upload photos you took yourself or otherwise have the right to use. If you think something on Outsidey infringes your copyright or trade mark, email support@outsidey.co.uk with the details and we’ll look at it.

RSVPs are a promise to a small group of people, several of whom are nervous about coming.

If you can’t make it, withdraw in the platform as early as you can, so your group knows. Withdrawing is always fine. Holding a place and not turning up is not: three no-shows within 90 days stop you making RSVPs for 30 days. If something genuinely stopped you withdrawing in time, tell us and we’ll take it into account.

Your RSVP is for you. Don’t bring a plus one. Everyone at an Outsidey event has agreed to these guidelines, and someone who hasn’t joined hasn’t. If you’d like a friend to come, they’re welcome to join Outsidey.

Anyone can propose an event. We review every proposal before it goes live, and we’ll approve, edit, or turn it down.

What we need from you: accurate details, a real venue or meeting point, and an activity that everyone attending can reasonably expect from the description.

We don’t run events at private homes. Ever. Not yours, not anyone else’s. This is an absolute rule and we won’t approve an exception to it. Meeting strangers is safest in public places with other people around.

We also won’t approve: events at venues we haven’t checked; events involving alcohol at a venue whose licence we can’t verify; events that need equipment, supervision, or expertise we can’t stand behind; events with a commercial purpose; or events that are really a date.

You can review a venue after you’ve attended an event there. We check attendance before a review can be written, which keeps reviews honest and keeps our ratings meaningful.

Write about the venue, not the people. First-hand experience only. Be honest, including when it’s unflattering.

Don’t write fake reviews, don’t write reviews for a venue you have a connection to without saying so, and don’t accept anything in exchange for a review. If you were given something, including a free or discounted place at an event, you have to say so in the review itself. We require this, and it’s how we meet our own legal obligations on reviews.

Don’t include anyone’s personal information, including staff names, in a review.

Being critical is fine. Writing something you know to be untrue in order to damage a venue is not, and depending on what you write and why, it can expose you to legal action by the venue as well as being a breach of these rules.

We may remove a review if it wasn’t written by someone who attended, if it’s about a different venue, if it contains personal information, if it’s abusive, or if we have reason to believe it’s fake. We won’t remove a review just because a venue doesn’t like it. If a venue complains that a review is defamatory, we follow the process set out in our Moderation and enforcement policy, which in some cases means we’ll leave it up.

Reporting is one of the few levers you have over another member here, and it works because we take it seriously.

Report things that breach these guidelines. Disliking someone, disagreeing with them, or finding them boring isn’t a reason to report them, and reporting someone because of their race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, gender, or any other protected characteristic is itself a serious breach.

Retaliation isn’t okay. If someone breaks a rule, that doesn’t entitle you to break one back, and it doesn’t entitle you to report them for something they didn’t do.

Don’t leave a bad venue rating or a thumbs down to damage someone you’ve fallen out with. Ratings are for what actually happened.

Occasionally something that would normally break a rule is clearly fine in context: a member describing their own experience of harm, a discussion of something in the news, an obvious joke that landed badly. We’ll take context into account, and we may add a warning or restrict something rather than remove it.

The reverse is also true. These rules can’t name everything, and we may act on behaviour that breaches the spirit of these guidelines and puts other members at comparable risk, even if no listed rule describes it exactly.

Context never makes rule 5 or child sexual exploitation acceptable. Discussing or studying terrorism is fine; praising or supporting it never is.

We’d rather be honest about the limits of what we can offer than reassuring and wrong.

We don’t vet members. We don’t run background checks or criminal record checks on members. We won’t tell you our members are verified, vetted, screened, or safe, because they’re people and we don’t know.

What we do instead: we run events in public places (venues and meeting points) that we’ve checked, never in private homes; we require a real photo; we review every event proposal before it’s published; we read every report we receive; and we act on the ones that need acting on. That’s a genuine set of controls.

We don’t review everything before it’s published. We review event proposals in advance. Profiles, photos, and reviews go live without prior review, and we look at them when someone reports them.

We don’t currently use automated tools to scan or classify content. No image classifiers, no keyword filters. If that changes, we’ll update this document and say what we’ve added and what it does. Some limits apply automatically, like the no-show rule in rule 16. Every other decision about your account is made by a person.

We’re not a court. We’re not in a position to establish what happened between two people at a dinner, and we won’t pretend otherwise. What we can do is act on reasonable grounds, in the interests of everyone else, and we will. That means we may act without being certain, and we may act on something we can’t prove.

We keep reporters confidential. We’ll never tell someone who reported them, unless the law requires it. If we act on a report, the person will be told what rule they breached, not who told us. In a small group, the details of a report can make it clear who made it. Before we put anything to the other person that could identify you, we’ll talk to you.

We’re not an emergency service. We can’t respond in real time, we can’t intervene at an event we’re not at, and we can’t report a crime on your behalf, though we may share information with the police. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999.

Support you might want, none of which is us:

• Samaritans — 116 123, free, day and night
• National Domestic Abuse Helpline (run by Refuge) — 0808 2000 247
• Rape Crisis England & Wales — 0808 500 2222
• Victim Support — 08 08 16 89 111
• National Stalking Helpline — 0808 802 0300
• Revenge Porn Helpline — 0345 6000 459
• Report Fraud — 0300 123 2040, or report online at reportfraud.police.uk

None of this is a rule. It’s what we’d tell a friend.

Meet the group at the venue or meeting point, and not somewhere else first. Tell someone you trust where you’re going and roughly when you’ll be back. Keep your drink and your bag with you. Plan how you’re getting home before you need to know.

Leaving early is always fine. You don’t need a reason, you don’t need to explain, and nobody at Outsidey will think anything of it. If you want an excuse, use us: say Outsidey emailed you about something.

If something happens at an event, or you feel unsafe, tell the venue staff, and tell us afterwards at safety@outsidey.co.uk. If it’s a crime, report it to the police. We’ll help where we can, and we’ll act on our side regardless of whether you report it to anyone else.

We want events to work for you, and we’d rather sort that out before you arrive than after.

Tell us about any access needs in the private access section of your profile, which only Outsidey can see, or at hello@outsidey.co.uk, and we’ll take them into account. If a venue doesn’t work for you, tell us, and we’ll look at what else we can do. We never charge anyone for meeting an access need.

If you’re a member: to report something that happened at an event, use the report option on the post-event feedback page. To report a profile, photo, review or event listing, use the report option on it, or email safety@outsidey.co.uk. If the event was a while ago and the feedback window has closed, email safety@outsidey.co.uk (or support@outsidey.co.uk — both reach us) and tell us the event and the person. There’s no time limit on reporting something to us.

If you’re not a member: email safety@outsidey.co.uk. You don’t need an account. This route is for anyone affected, including venue staff, someone named in a review, or someone who came to an event with a member.

What happens next. We read every report. We’ll look at what you’ve told us, at anything else we hold, and usually at what the other person has to say. We’ll take action if we think, on reasonable grounds, that a rule has been broken. We won’t always be able to tell you the outcome, because it’s often information about someone else, but we’ll confirm we’ve dealt with it.

If it’s urgent and someone is at immediate risk, call 999 first and tell us afterwards.

Full detail on how decisions are made, what notice you get, and how to appeal is in our Terms of Service and our Moderation and enforcement policy.

We’ll update these guidelines when our service changes, when our safety practices change, or when the law changes.

When a change materially affects your rights or how we enforce these rules, we’ll give you reasonable notice before it takes effect, update the last-updated date, and describe what changed on this page. If you don’t want to accept a material change, you can cancel your membership, and the position on your fee is set out in our Terms of Service.

What changed: Version 1.2 reflects how events now work: you RSVP to a Plan, and groups are formed when RSVPs close. It updates rule 16 on turning up, sets out what happens while we look into a serious report, says that romantic approaches are only for events tagged Dating, explains who can join women-only events, updates the list of things you can post, and updates the support contacts.